The Reality of a Survivor’s Relapse
A reality most people don’t realize about a survivor’s journey to healing is that they may at some point choose to go back to the life they exited from. Many people often don’t understand why survivors relapse and decide to return to the situation they left, but through our work with survivors we have gathered six main reasons that contribute to them making this decision.
Reason #1 - Addictions:
Drug and alcohol addictions can lure a survivor back into the life. Survivors often use drugs, or are forced to use, to numb themselves of the reality of the life they are living. Once an addiction forms, they may feel that the only way they can get quick money to get the drugs they crave is to turn a trick. If they are still addicted when they leave the life, it can be very difficult not to go back to that means of getting their next high.
Reason #2 - Lies from their trafficker or pimp:
A trafficker’s lies and empty promises can cause a survivor to return to the life. He may tell her he loves her and that they are meant to be together. He knows her hopes and dreams, and he promises to give those to her. He knows what fuels her, he’s learned her internal need for survival, and he exploits that to try to get her to come back.
Reason #3 - A Relationship:
Many survivors return to the life because of a relationship with their trafficker or pimp. A common tactic used by traffickers is to create a trauma bond; he manipulates the survivor by creating a situation she needs to be saved from and is always the one to help her out of the situation he created. She is manipulated to think that he loves her and that he will always be there for her. After leaving the life, the process of working through that trauma is painful; she may choose to go back to him because he is familiar and what she thinks is safe, hyperfocusing on the moment when he swooped in and “saved” her instead of when he abused her.
Reason #4 - The Lifestyle:
The lifestyle is another contributing factor to why survivors go back;
they may have enjoyed and want a more fast-paced lifestyle. They go from a chaotic and emotionally intense environment, to a more peaceful environment that they may have never experienced, and this can be a difficult adjustment.
Reason #5 - Money:
Money can be a major factor in why survivors return to the life. They can go from making thousands of dollars each week to making minimum wage, and it's oftentimes hard for them to see how they will be able to make a living any other way than what they’re used to. A lack of tools or job skill training can also play a part in this.
Reason #6 - Lies from the enemy:
The enemy will fill a survivor’s head with lies to keep her from choosing the path towards freedom. She may fear the unknown or lies that convince her she’s not good enough, she needs to remain a part of the life that she knows, or that no one will love her. The enemy attacks her through shame and guilt, telling her that her value is monetary and that's it. This lack of self worth can lead a survivor to return to the life because she believes the lie that she isn’t worthy of anything else.
Our hope is that through a greater understanding of the reasons behind a relapse, more people will be compelled with compassion for survivors and can come together in prayer that the love and truth of God may reign within them, giving them the strength to fight against any lingering strongholds from the realities they endured. It is our honor to join hands and support them in their journeys as they overcome their past, encouraging them all along as they walk towards new life.
There is no shame or condemnation for any steps survivors may take along the way; the situation they came out of was painful, complex, and takes much time to process and heal from. No matter how long it takes for them to come to the decision to leave the life, we will be there for them when they call for help to exit and begin that healing process.
